So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. ~Philippians 2:1-4 (part of my wedding passage)
A friend forwarded this post entitled Why Speaking Well of Your Spouse is So Important and I’ll be honest, it convicted me and reminded me of something I had already figured was true: speaking well of your spouse in public is healthy and loving.
In general, I think compliments “in secret” (ie. not in direct hearing of the person they are about) are one of the most wonderful things to hear about later for that person. Think about how you’d feel if someone came up to you and said, “So and so was bragging about you earlier today.” Awesome. Right? It’s like winning the compliment lottery! And how do you feel about the person who complimented you? You feel like you can trust them. Because for some reason, saying positive things in secret is so much harder than saying negative things in secret (ie. gossip). So for my single readers out there, I’d say this article is still a great read, because it still applies to other relationships significantly.
Excerpt from full article:
Early in our marriage, Gail and I attended a church led by a dynamic, thirty-something pastor. He was an extraordinary communicator. He was a wise and empathetic counselor. As a result, the church grew rapidly.
But as we got better acquainted with him and his wife, we started noticing a disturbing trend in the way they related to one another. They would often make disparaging remarks about the other in public.
At first, it seemed cute. Their comments seemed playful and humorous. Everyone laughed. But over time, they became more and more pointed, thinly masking their frustration with one another…